Log in

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Dead Tears On Winter Hearts

Title: Dead Tears on Winter Hearts
Fandom(s): Yuuto (ex. SCREW), Kerli (solo)
Genre(s): General/some angst
Rating: PG
Warning(s): Adult themes, not beta-ed
Pairing(s): Yuuto x Kerli (friendship)
Summary: Some believe when two opposites meet at first sight, a possibility of a sad and fateful end surfaces. But as soon as they encounter each other, one of them is unexpectedly in need of comforting.
Author's Note: It’s been a while since I’ve done a fic involving friendship instead of romance. For those who don’t know who Kerli is, click on her name for information.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own either one of them.
Status: Complete
Special thanks: fffriction1984 :)

While the Friday morning was filled with cloudy skies and a slim chance of snow, the breezing temperature remained cool and unwelcoming to a busy Tokyo population. Part of its inhabitants rushed out of their homes before traffic grew worse. Some of its young students, who were supposed to be in school at this time, chose to stay home for safety reasons. For a few people, they were too much in a disheartened mood to be with anyone or do anything inside their own homes.

A day like this one was almost the exact same case for Yuuto. The brown-haired young man was still in bed, clad in black plaid pajamas covering his slender body. His eyes felt heavy due to lack of sleep, and yet he had planned to do whatever he felt like doing on his day off. One of those plans involved meeting his former band mates at a restaurant nearby, hoping to catch up on some good times. However, he wasn’t sure if that was going to follow through since he announced his departure to the public.

Yuuto sighed heavily while getting out of bed to start his usual daily routine. A beeping sound from his cell phone stopped him for a second, assuming it was one of them. Picking it up from his nightstand, a text message appeared on the screen:

Hi, Yuu-chan…
I’m just letting you know that our plans for lunch have been cancelled. Something urgent just came up. Hope you understand.


The message alone gave Yuuto a small hint of suspicion instead of understanding. Kazuki was not the type to lie about urgent matters. So why would he even bother inquiring it? Another small alert sound came from his black Mac Book laptop.

“I thought I turned that thing off,” was the first thing he said all morning while walking over to the opened compartment. “I’ll see what I got.” He sat down yawning before glancing at the blinking e-mail alert. Once he double-clicked the icon, it revealed he received a message from a familiar internet dweller.

From: FairyMoonChild@elysia.net
To: rocksterbassmania@reap.jp

Hi, Yuuto!

I just arrived from the airport.
I’ll be at the bridge in Harajuku if you’re still interested in meeting and hanging out.
See you when you get there!

The curious expression on Yuuto’s face gave him a good reason to have an adventure with someone he knew from the Internet, especially from what he read on the screen. After hearing some horror stories about such meetings, it was just like fulfilling one’s death wish. He shrugged a bit, deciding to take this sort of risk just this once.

“What harm would this kind of meeting actually do?”

The bridge was filled with teenage girls and young women, none older than twenty-five. They were wearing the latest fashion trends and costumes inspired by their favorite bands respectively. It was no surprise to Yuuto since he was quite used to it, even when some of the girls were posing for pictures in their imitations of his KAIROS outfit. Keeping his eyes open, searched for his waiting online buddy with growing anticipation.

But where was she?

The crowd was making it difficult for him to find her. It’s best to save the trouble, he thought, pulling out his cell phone. He stopped for a second, noticing a woman’s shiny platinum blonde hair that stood out from the rest of the group. She wore a black Elegant Gothic Lolita styled tutu, leather corset (loosely fitted in order to breathe), and a pair of laced platform stilettos to match her snug leggings. He wondered how any woman could walk with those things on. The cute little top hat on her head diverted him away from the risqué shoes.

Yuuto suddenly walked a little closer to the woman standing almost ten feet away from him. He stopped on the third step when she turned her head to see him.

The young woman spoke softly to Yuuto, giving him a gentle and friendly smile. “You can see me?”

Her expression had left a calming first impression on the bassist. With a small nod, he continued until they were standing at a good distance, finally seeing each other’s faces for the first time. “Are you really Kerli?” he asked returning the diminutive smile.

The Estonian singer was amazed to see how Yuuto looked without his costumes and makeup. “Yes I am,” she replied frankly. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Yuuto.” She tilted her head slightly upward for a better view of his face. “You look taller than I imagined in some of the photo shoots you gave me.”

Yuuto was blushing at this point. There was no reason to condemn her for being honest. He simply gave her a polite bow. “Thank you. You are wearing one interesting outfit. I’m surprised no one approached you about your fashion.”

“I was already getting a few looks long before coming to Harajuku,” Kerli acknowledged. “You weren’t jesting about this place. It’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah…I suppose,” he said, growing a little uncomfortable with his surroundings on the bridge. “Would you like to go someplace quieter, Kerli? Like a park or an aquarium?”

The consideration of going to an aquarium made Kerli smile. “Which one?”

Two and a half hours later, the two musicians were browsing and even discussing quite a lot about random stuff at the Shinagawa Aquarium. The joys of looking at the exotic fish swimming inside the watery walls had lightened their spirits up…only for a little while. Kerli was having a lot of fun, especially getting a little closer to see the view. She remained careful in not getting too close, wanting to show some courtesy to both Yuuto and the area.

“I feel just like those fish…” Kerli smirked. “Swimming forever and ever until their lifespan ends…What do you think, Yuuto?”

Yuuto did not answer. He was lost in thought; his head hung low in melancholy.

“Yuuto, are you alright?”

The bassist snapped back to reality and turned to Kerli when she called him a second time. “Oh…I’m okay, just thinking about something,” he answered despondently.

His eyes spoke to Kerli that something was bothering him immensely. “What’s wrong?” she asked genuinely, but had a short guess on what it was. “Oh! I’m sorry if I’m behaving ineptly—“

Yuuto cut her off by shaking his head, sighing softly. “You’re fine. I think I just killed my own mood.”

“Huh?” Kerli was confused by his odd words. “What do you mean?”

“Ever since I left that band, I wonder if they really hate me that much to simply ignore me…”

The blonde’s eyes grew wide at the inferior declaration, not to declare this wasn’t the Yuuto she had spoken to over the internet. “Who would hate a nice guy like you?”

“My former band mates,” Yuuto responded, his voice slightly choking at his words. “I can’t help but wonder if they hate me because of my behavior. It is somewhat my fault for the way I’ve acted during some interviews and all, but…”

“Yuuto…” Kerli tried to speak, until she noticed a small tear falling from his eye. Poor guy, she thought. She saw pain in his eyes. To her, seeing anyone in that kind of condition was saddening. As a caring friend, she wanted to do something to brighten the tall man’s spirits in some way.

“I…just don’t know anymore,” he soon whispered, covering his face to hide the hot tears falling down his cheeks. Crying in front of a woman was a hidden weakness for him. He was beginning to wish he held it all in until he returned home.

Kerli came closer to hug him, not caring if she was taking a big risk in front of any public around. She felt his free arm circling around him firmly moments later, only getting a small understanding of why in this physical expression. She never knew he was this sensitive…or stressed out for that matter. Then again, sensitive men never bothered her. In fact, she believed they should express their emotions more often.

“Don’t cry, Yuuto,” she said sympathetically, refusing to let go of him. “I don’t know your former band members that well, but I doubt they hate you.”

“What would you know?” Yuuto quipped. “You don’t know what it’s like to feel ignored.”

Kerli frowned, feeling a little insulted as she took a tiny step away from him. “I know the feeling all too well, Yuuto. If I ignored you, we wouldn’t be here right now, would we? Besides, have you even talked to them since you left the band?”

He fell silent. Sure, Kazuki might have changed plans intentionally to avoid him. He should have called him back to figure out what was so urgent to cancel plans. Yet, there was Kerli, finally arriving in Japan just to visit him all the way from the little land of Estonia. Most of him was grateful for her to come this way just for a visit, even if it meant cheering him up by going to an aquarium. He later answered her question by shaking his head no while wiping a couple of tears away.

“Man…this is embarrassing,” Yuuto mumbled. “I’m sorry for acting like a baby.”

Kerli playful punched him on the arm smiling. “There’s nothing wrong in crying. You have a good reason to…unless if you’re uncomfortable with it…”

Yuuto scoffed. “I only cry when I’m really stressed out.”

“Aww…nothing wrong with that either. At least it’s better than keeping it all in, right?”

The taller one took a deep breath, letting it all out before he answered her. “Yeah…I suppose you’re right. I’m probably just not thinking right or something.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re okay to me.” Her stomach unexpectedly growled. “Uh…is there a good place to eat?”

Yuuto couldn’t help but laugh. “Sure. I know a great place actually. Let’s go.” He was quite hungry himself. Simply looking at the fish was making him hungry.

It was still early in the evening when they finished their dinner at a local seafood restaurant, but enough time for Yuuto and Kerli to part their separate ways. They both wanted to keep their shared adventure going for as long as they lived. Now it was Kerli’s turn to be sad, but there was hope inside her of wanting to see him again. There was still a lot to learn from each other from what she was thinking.

“I’ve really had a great time,” she grinned. “Thanks for showing me around. We should do this again sometime.”

“I should be thanking you for your support. I was really feeling awful.”

“If you’re feeling lonely, just call or e-mail me.”

Yuuto nodded. “I’ll remember that. When shall I see you again?”

“How about tomorrow? I’m not doing anything then,” Kerli suggested.

“I’d like that. I’ll see you at Harajuku Bridge again?”

“Of course,” she said. “See you later.” With that, Kerli waved to him, making her way to a hotel she was staying at, which was just a few feet away.


That was a little too perky, Yuuto said in his mind with a short chuckle. He headed home himself, pondering if he should keep this experience to himself or post it on his blog once he got home.

A/N #2: I find it just a tad bit awkward I'm posting this fanfic on Kerli's birthday, alongside Yuuto's departure from SCREW. It actually didn't take long to finish in writing hours, but being busy with school can really take over. I hope you guys enjoyed the story, and please feel free to give me some feedback (as long as it's constructive).